i'm not okay

well, i just want to inform my condition that i'm not in a good condiiton or maybe it'll be more suitable if i use 'bad' word..
i do not know what happen inside of me.. well, some people says that if you do not have any dream that you want to fulfill, you're already dead or you're meaningless.. it will be good if you die.. and some people says if you have no motivation you're already lose.. well it's the same condition as me.. actually i have no purposes at this time.. do not know what to do.. but of course i have some tasks that i must finish.. but i have no motivation at all even the motivation to have a graduation at this semester..
i really do not know, what on earth that make me useless like this.. i just spent my daily hours with nothing.. just lay my head down in my bed.. and nothing i do.. even playing..
i know that this is not right.. but it is too much for me.. i can even change myself.. more i tried there will be more laziness that comes to me.. I know my position and I now my duty.. but it really bother me.. maybe i have left my duty or take a break like everyone does..
Dear God,, I know that you love me and I know that You do not want to see me like this. .and I also know that You can do anything that seems impossible for human and I know that You're omnipresent but why.. why have you let me like this.. why You have seems likely do nothing .. and you turn away Your face on me.. at this time I really really Your help.. I do not want to be like this forever.. it's a shame for me.. well please, just save me please, i really need to be saved.. somebody out of there please save me!!!

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