lately I’ve been reminded about some question that keep spinning in my mind.. there are several question that keep me devastating.. and now, it happens..
pernahkah kalian menonton film final destination, yang bercerita tentang bagaimana orang tersebut akan mati (meninggal) dengan cara-cara yang mungkin tidak terpikirkan oleh kita.. yeah that film is quite awesome but creepy.. and I also had near death experience.. like when you almost drowned on the sea, almost get hit by motorcycle that run so fast.. hampir ketiban plafon yang rubuh.. kepeleset dan hampir jatoh.. hampir ketimpa tembok yang ada tepat di atas kepala gw.. gelayutan di pintu bis deborah yang dimana lo lepas pegangan lo mati, sehingga lo pegangan terus sampe pegel.. dan ada beberapa hal lain yang gw alami dan mungkin gw ga inget kali yaa...
sejujurnya gw tipe orang yang sangat aktif imajinasinya, terkadang gw berpikir tiba-tiba pas gw tidur.. ada pesawat jatuh nimpa rumah gw.. atau ada rampok yang masuk dan membunuh gw.. atau mungkin pas gw lagi di mall ada bom yang meledak dan gw menjadi salah satu korbannya.. dan mungkin yang paling sering gw pikirkan adalah ketika gw sedang menunggu lampu merah untuk menyebrang, trus gw didorong orang dan jatuh ke tengah jalan dan terlindas oleh mobil yang melaju dengan kencang.. tapi mungkin yang paling mengerikan adalah ketika lo lagi nyetir dan tiba-tiba mobil lo kecelakaan dan lo mati di tempat, atau digebukin warga, atau kebakar hidup-hidup..
yaaa, mungkin imajinasi gw terlalu liar.. but one thing that I know is, I think about it a lot.. and when I think about ‘How I Might Die Moment’ I always think of this:
What will be happen to others if I die?
That’s a question that basically asked for my existence in the world.. Did I do enough good deeds while I’m alive? Did everyone love me? Did anyone love me? What are their first reactions when they heard that I die? What is the most thing that they will remember of me? Did they have regret to me? What will be happened to the closest one when I die? Do people attend my funeral?
One simple question that leads to my existence and lead to several question that I cannot answer, or I can’t find the answer, even if I die.. because I do not know what it’s like to be dead.. Did I could still see other or something like that, and it will lead to another question that I cannot asked, because my mind is too small compared to the secret that universe has.
But let me get this straight for you.. I’m not dead, and I won’t like to be dead soon.. I want to do some work on this little tiny world, do what I can do, and achieve something in my life, but I’m just wondering.. Who am I for them, my closest one for example?
You can take example how much people care for you, by this case.. that is the thing that I want to know..
and this question mostly appear on the night, on the driving session, on the heartbroken session, or something mellow that happened to me.. when I meet the hole and when I almost die..
so this life, is full of mystery.. I know this wish seems ridiculous, but I wanted to see myself and people who attend my funeral.. and if I didn’t feel glad, I choose to wake up and do something to them, but If many people attend, I might choose to continue my journey, or I choose to wake up.. hahahaha..
it’s not about dead.. but how you live your life..
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